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The Best Way to Be More Confident

By: Jeff Haden

Maybe it’s public speaking or pitching investors.  Whatever makes you weak in the knees–next time it happens, try this.

Confidence is not something you either have or you don’t.

Take me. Stick me on a bicycle at a local group ride and I’m confident. I’m self-assured. I feel like I belong (which, if you think about it, is a nice definition of confidence).

But stick me on a bicycle at a local gran fondo ride surrounded by the fast guys and suddenly everything changes. Instantly I turn shy and insecure. Now I feel like a very small fish way out of his watery element.

Confidence is unfortunately for me, and probably for you, way more situational than absolute. Maybe you’re confident in front of your team, but in front of potential investors… not so much.

That’s why most of the tips for how to feel confident often fall short. Most of that advice can be boiled down to, “You can be confident. All you have to do is decide to be confident.” Evidently it’s easy: Suppress negative thoughts, suppress negative perspectives, and repeat some really cool self-affirmation statements and… shazam: I’m like Donald Trump.

Or not.

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